We Dreamt In Heist

I know I said that my account of the Paolo Nutini concert would be my next post(meaning this one). But not yet. I'll probably do it tomorrow when I'm in a better mood.

I've been in a weird mood all day. I guess it started this morning. I had a horrible dream last night that one of my friends, Josh, was in a car accident and hurt really badly. I was so upset in the dream that I actually started crying and I was crying so hard that it woke me up. My pillow was soaked with tears. I saw Josh at work today but I didn't want to tell him about the dream. I don't know, I guess I thought it would be weird if he knew I that I dreamt about him.

I know I would be upset dreaming about anyone I know getting hurt, but I wasn't so sure as to why it affected me so much that it was him. But then I realized that he's pretty much the only guy friend that I have that I trust enough to let my guard down around. That's pretty big for me because I have extreme trust issues when it comes to men...always have. I'm really comfortable when I'm around him and I've never felt like I've had to question his motives with our friendship. But I'm almost positive that he doesn't know/realize any of this. And I don't think I would ever tell him. I don't want to make things weird.

But I appreciate him sooo much. He's definitely one of the nicest, most caring guys I've ever met. He's an absolute gentleman and so considerate. He's quite interesting too. He's a film minor, so I love talking to him about movies and he's so knowledgeable about old classic movies, which I love. And we've got similar tastes in music so that's always fun to talk about.

His girlfriend is definitely one lucky girl, but I just feel so lucky to have him as a friend.

So I guess that's why I got so upset in the dream. I care about his friendship so much that I couldn't handle losing it. And he's pretty much the only guy in my life that I completely trust(even more than my dad). I feel like I sound really selfish right now, but when you don't have many guy friends, let alone ones that are true friends, you want to hold on to those that are.

It's going to suck when he graduates in December...well not for him, I know he's ready to be done lol. I just hope this doesn't effect our friendship too much. I don't think I could handle losing someone else.