Kill Monsters In The Rain

Come and save me, come on down from that hill
Where you sleep, no more do you ever have to dream
Together we can, together we'll
Kill monsters in the rain
We are the same, what a mess you made

Hide in the cupboard, behind the soap boxes and..
Your mom, will never see us lying, hiding awake
Together we can, oh together we'll
Kill monsters in the rain
We are the same, what a mess you made

I was cold, in line
Picked out, backed down
Fucked up, out of love
Out of time, I fell
I'm never going back again

Come and save me, I'll climb on up your hill
We don't sleep, no more life lived like a dream
Together we can, oh together we'll
Kill monsters in the rain
We are the same, what a mess you made

I was cold, in line
Picked out, backed down
Fucked up, out of Love, out of time
Then you were, then you smiled
And again and again and I fell
Open eyes, I did see that ghost, that soul
Was buried alive, and I swore
I'd never see that place again

Together we can, together we'll
Kill monsters in the rain
We are the same, what a mess you made
Oh we are the same, what a mess we'll make

<3

Can't you just accept, the fact that I'm only as loyal as my options?

How's your heart?
-Well it skipped a beat this week :)

Thanksgiving break was wonderful. It was so nice to go home and see the fam.
I did a grand total of no school work and it was amazing.
I know I should've though...many late nights are in my future
Of course it wasn't long enough.

I think it's about time I met someone... and he doesn't seem crazy haha.
He's very interesting and we've got a lot in common.
Hell, we talked about wrestling haha 2 points there.
And he's got a great taste in music. That's always a plus! :)

I think my biggest fear is being used. I've felt many a time that I was only someones friend because it was convenient for them at the time. And that feeling sucks more than anything in the world.

I know that's why I usually have my guard up and it takes me a long time to open up to people.

Anberlin said "Never take friendship personal".

I'm probably taking that out of context lol, but the meaning is still there.

I just don't know how much more my heart can take honestly.

Hmm...someone's going to like me for me one day. Randomness and all. I can feel it. :)

Nobody's Fault But Mine

Geeze it's been forever and a day.
Just listening to some Zeppelin and trying to decide what I want to do for my birthday in 2 months.
21 is a pretty big deal. I might go all out. Who knows lol.

Going home for Thanksgiving break in the morning.
It's soo nice to get a full week off.
I've got to take Chewy with me though, since apparently I'm the only one who even thinks about him.
And I've got to clean the apartment when I get up...I'm the only one who thinks about that too.
Honestly, who would want to come back to a dirty apartment after a vacation? Not I.
I probably should have lived by myself, but I would've been way bored.
But it's gonna happen eventually, perhaps sooner than later if things keep the same way.

I might try to get my Zeppelin tattoo for Christmas...Or the Saosin one.
And I want to get my chest piece for my birthday.

Why are all the great guys in England, Canada, Australia or Texas lol. Basically not in Athens, GA.
Please someone prove me wrong.

I've been getting major unbearable migraines lately. Should get that checked out.

Got my evaluation at work the other day and they basically told me I'm one of the best workers there. Uhh...can I get a raise?!?!

Why do I feel like I'm growing up while the people around me are still the same? God I guess paying rent does that to you hahaha....gets your priories in check real fast. I need an older crowd.

Hell I need a new crowd. I'm soo over the scene. Love the music, hate the people. People who's lives revolve around going to shows to be seen/scene are so '05 lol.

Things are gonna change now for the better - Anberlin

New Surrender

We will all come to the point in our life where we have to admit that we feel defeated, that something has conquered us. We must change, not because we want to, but because we desperately have to. We can not take life in its current suffocating state, even to admit such desperation shows that we are feeling deserted, wandering the barren desert, a shell of our former selves. It is only up from here, it is impossible to sink any lower into ourselves or our circumstances. But we can be salvaged, a deliverance. No vice can stand, no fix can take. The thorn in the side can be removed, but you have to be willing to admit and surrender. Surrender your habits, your lifestyle, your past, your present, and your future. This is your new surrender. The new surrender. -Stephen Christian

Dismantle. Repair.

When I die, I want Envy On The Coast to write a song in my honor.
I know this is very random, but it's what I want.
Ideally I would say My Chemical Romance, but they've been there done that.
Plus I would know what to expect(although I would be dead).
But I think if Envy did it, it would be something special.
...I take that back. I want MCR & Envy to write songs for me.

Umm... I met William Beckett the other day. Pretty surreal for me.

Queen Elizabeth I is the shit. I hope to one day be as strong, powerful, and wise as her.
But minus the whole "virgin for life" thing. No thank you.

Ugh, I need a new job ASAP. Like seriously.

Tattoo proposals (this will be elaborated upon in a future post w/pics):
My Chemical Romance
Anberlin
Envy On The Coast
Mayday Parade
Saosin
Salvidor Dali
The Academy Is...
Tudor rose
Led Zeppelin/Robert Plant

Music is my boyfriend

Two great nights in a row.

Thursday: National Product! 1997! From First To Last! Scary Kids Scaring Kids!
AMAZING show. All the bands killed it. It was so good seeing FFTL in all their awesomeness.
Got to interview Danny from National Product.
Pretty much the highlight of my life right now.
I just wanted to talk to him for hours. Just pick his brain about everything.
God he's such a wonderful person.
I hope I get to talk to him again.
I didn't get to meet Matt Good :'(
But he walked right in front of me and almost made me pass out.
Pouyan! Pouyan! Pouyan!
We got an awesome acoustic set from 1997 after the show.

Friday: Motion City Soundtrack in Athens!!!!
I still can't believe they came to Athens.
It's slowly setting in.
Their show was fucking incredible.
Matt! Justin! Jesse! Tony! Josh!....MATT!!!!!!!!! ;)
God, such a wonderful night...all ending with "fingers" in food at WaHo(Waffle House)

Those two nights reminded me of why I live, sleep, and breathe music.
It's my life. My first, last, and currently only true love.

Saturday: Ugh!
Woke up only to remember that the apartment was a fucking mess.
No worries, maid Kristen to the rescue. Someone shoot me.
Cleaned the kitchen & living room. Then tackled our bathroom.
To not have any tub cleaner, I made that bitch shine lol.
Cleaned Chewy's cage again. That's always a blast.
I gave in, couldn't take the smell anymore.

The Bigger Lights are coming on wednesday to Swayze's but I just found out today and I have to work :(
I really really really want to see them live.
I wouldn't have a way to get there anyway though.
Ugh, tired of missing shows that I want to see because of the whole not having transport thing.
It's lame. And a bit of a bummer.

Been reading the journals of a friend studying abroad in England.
Soooo happy for him and soooo jealous at the same time lol.
But no worries.
Fall '09...It's all happening :)


P.S. Je ne suis pas la bonne. Mais je n'habiterai pas en la salete. Vous avez besoin d'a grandit et apprend a nettoyer.

It's all happening...

So I've decided that since I've pretty much got nothing going on for myself, I'm putting my all into something else. And I'm super excited about it. I had this feeling about two years ago about something else but it has now since fizzled away a bit. I think a lack of excitement/commitment/just plain laziness on all ends has brought it to this point. But next week it could be redeemed. I'm excited.

Anyway, yeah. My new project. I'm so stoked about it. Especially since I've now got something constructive to do with my time...Well what time that's not spent on school work, work work(Bolton), doing my hair(hahaha), etc.

But I definitely believe more in this than anything I have in a long time. It's got my heart right now. And it'll definitely keep my mind off of things. Things that, if thought about too much, are a bit upsetting.

It's going to take time, but seeing the end result in my mind makes it all worth while. Gah...I get so stoked just thinking about it lol.

In other news, I'm a nerd and definitely just read the original script for Almost Famous. There's so much in it that was left out the movie. I mean a lot of really good scenes in my opinion. You get to know the characters a lot more in depth.

There's this one scene where William is trying to convince his mom, Elaine, to let him go on tour and write for Rolling Stone. What didn't make it into the movie was a scene where he, Darryl(Anita's boyfriend), and a teacher from William's school have a sort of "intervention" with Elaine at his house. William presents his argument by stating:

I wish to disprove the prevailing false
belief that rock music is based on drugs
and sex. True, perhaps at one time...
but rock music is different now. It is
now performed by hard-working
intellectuals, with... with blazing
intellectual pursuits, and I am going to
play for you a piece of music designed
to show you that my thesis is correct...

The song is based on the literature of
Tolkien... and it's mystical attempt
to elevate humanity has been successful
throughout the world... this song
will change your life.

And what's the song that's played???

Stairway To Heaven by Led Zeppelin.

That would have been an AWESOME scene to have in the movie.
But eh, whatcha gonna do?
I think I'm going to have to give that movie a watch tonight.
It's been a while. And it's still my fave.

Oh, I think I'm going to get "It's all happening" tattooed eventually.
Don't know where yet.
But it'll be hot.
:)

Pardon me for this interjection.

How could you cry for me?
Cause I don't feel bad about it.
So shut your eyes.
Kiss me goodbye.
And sleep.


There ain't no way that I'm coming back again.


This time I'll make it on my own.

Wish List

Here's a list of books I want to read. If I can ever find the time...

1. The Unbearable Lightness On Being by Milan Kundera
2. Einstein's Dreams by Alan Lightman
3. An Anthropologist on Mars by Oliver Sacks
4. The Orphaned Anythings by Stephen Christian (of Anberlin)
5. Love In The Time Of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
6. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
7. Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller
8. Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut
9. The Cosmic Serpent by Jeremy Narby
10. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers
11. Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller
12. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
13. My Booky Wook by Russell Brand


love everyone

One Of Those Nights

Why hello old friend. It's been quite a while since my last entry. Over a month actually. Well it's 6am and I had the bright idea of drinking a Vitamin water energy drink a few hours ago, and now I can't sleep. So here I am.

A lot has happened in the last month. I worked like hell. Honestly almost everyday it seemed. Those few days that I wasn't working were spent either sleeping the day away or at a show. It's weird actually, during the school semester it seemed like I was at a show every week, but now that it's summer, I haven't really been to that many.

June 17th- The Spill Canvas, Steel Train, Ludo, Liam and Me @ The Masquerade
June 24th- City Riots @ Tasty World
July 5th- Danger Radio, Ace Enders, Powerspace, CIWWAF @ The Masquerade
July 9th- Warped Tour: Atlanta @ HiFi Buys Amphitheater
July 14th- Warped Tour: Charlotte, NC @ Verizon Wireless Amphitheater

All those shows were AMAZING! I fell in love with Steel Train the night I saw them, and they're now one of my favorite bands. I still can't believe City Riots came and played in Athens. I love those boys and still appreciate the fact that they came and played here. And they were wonderful house guests lol. We were supposed to attend 2 other Danger Radio shows before the ATL one, but we ended up in a car accident on the way. Quite scary being as it was my and Ashley's first accident. Thank the Lord no one was hurt though. Well except Petey, Ashley's PT Cruiser. But the ATL show was still amazing!

The two Warped Tours we went to were a lot of fun. In Atlanta we worked with Girlz Garage and had the privilege of working with a wonderful woman named Michelle who's been on Warped for years and gives girls a great place to hang out and do fun things. I want to be like her when I'm older. Saw a ton of great bands as usual, but no new ones unfortunately. There was no time to just walk around and check out some of the smaller bands. In Charlotte we worked with the AP Magazine tent, which was also a lot of fun. We did signings with two of my favorite bands, Mayday Parade and The Academy Is. I didn't get to actually talk to any of them though. :( I just got to look at them lol. I'll definitely love to work with Girlz Garage and AP again next year.

Let's see, I experienced my first sort of "heartbreak" type thing. Basically I really liked a guy, attempted to see if I could at least make something happen out of it, ended up making a fool of myself(I think at least), then decided that nothing was ever going to come from this and that I should get over it/him and start living in the real world. That last part was a lot harder than expected.

But eh, it's all good. The right person is out there somewhere. I don't know who he is, where he is, or what he's doing, but when the time is right, we'll meet. And he better be ready, because I'm going to love him like nobody's business. Hope he can handle it lol.

Well it's 7am now and I've got work today so I'd better try for some sleep. <3

God is Love
Without love I am nothing

Tell Them That She's Not Scared

It's 6:46 am. I've seen a lot more sunrises than I ever expected to this summer. I don't seem to get any sort of pleasure from sleep nowadays. It seems to be more of a, "Oh the sun is up, I guess I should go to sleep now" rather than a, "Oh I can't wait to go to sleep and get some rest". But then I end up sleeping all day. It's weird. I think I just feel like I'm missing something, like I should be doing something, but instead I'm sleeping. I'm going to have to get over that now that I'm working again though.

Saturday was Emery, Envy On The Coast, and The Almost at The Masquerade. The show was amazing. This was my 4th time seeing Emery, and again I ended up watching them from the back lol. But they were amazing as usual. They played a new song from their upcoming EP and it was awesome. It was more of a dancey song, yet still very Emery-esq. Loved it.

Envy killed it as usual. I swear, every time I see them, I fall more and more in love. I would be intimidated if I were in a band that had to play with Envy. They are just such amazing musicians. Honestly to me it almost feels like a religious experience seeing them play. I just get this feeling of euphoria and elation for those 30 or so minutes. God they're so good. I just don't think I can explain it in words. It's something you've just got to experience. Love them.

Now I knew The Almost was going to be good because I saw them at Warped Tour, but that was so long ago that I kinda forgot. But I didn't think that they would be as amazing as they were that night. Aaron is definitely an amazing frontman. And I don't know why, but I felt this sense of pride watching him play. I'm just so dang proud of him lol. This is The Almost's first headlining tour and they did it up. "Amazing Because It Is" was beautiful!!! Another great crowd sing-a-long. Brought me to tears.

It was over all a great night. And a great way to spend my last day before I started work; which by the way wasn't too bad I guess. It was just weird being back.

I'm letting go and giving God control in a certain aspect of my life. I know I should give it all to Him and just let Him guide me, but honestly I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. It's kinda scary. But I know for things to be right, I'll have to do it. It's that fear of losing control that I'm struggling with. It's the same reason why I don't drink or do drugs. I have to be in control of myself and my actions at all times and I don't want anything inhibiting that. I hate that I feel like I'm giving God a trial run or something. Like if this works out then yeah I'll trust Him and give in. I don't want it to be like that but I can't help it. It's definitely going to be a day by day thing. And I'm going to have to try very hard to make it not about what I want, but what's right for me according to Him.

I'll hold your tears as ransom
Within the palm of my hand
And tell you once again,
Don't tell me that you're scared
-Envy On The Coast

Sparkle Baby Shine

So I was watching tv last night and I heard something that really really bugs me. It was said by a bigger girl, and she pretty much said that because of the fact that's she's big she only likes wearing jeans and t-shirts. And that nothing fits her. Now hearing that bugs the crap out of me. I honestly think that's a cop out and an excuse.

There are plenty of cute clothes for bigger girls. You just have to look for them. And really they're not that hard to find anyway. Trust me, I know lol.

I know that I could stand to lose a lottttttttt of weight lol, but it's a process and until I'm at the size I want to be, I'm not just going to let myself go. I mean you can still be cute but jeeze. You gotta try sometimes. You've gotta have some confidence in yourself.

While I'm on that subject, it also bugs me when I hear people talk about how they hate how they look yet they don't do anything about it. It's like, you're not going to wake up and be skinnier. Sorry. You gotta work at it.

You only get one body, love it, and as Tim Gunn would say...Make It Work! (Oh how I miss Project Runway)

It's taken me a looooong time to get to this point in my life. The point where I love myself for me and I'm actually content with myself. There are still plenty of times where I'll see girls and be like God, they're so skinny and there's that hint of jealousy. But that's human. And then I'm over it.

Although now it seems most of the jealousy is because of the boys *cough*WilliamBeckett*cough* lol. They're all so tiny nowadays. Gotta love scene boys hahaha.

My goal for the summer is to continue to build up my confidence. Especially learning to speak up when I've got something to say. I don't want anymore regrets, no more "I should have said something on the damn stairs". No more waiting around for the right words to say. I'm just going to go for it. And what happens, happens.

LO
VE

I Don't Know About You, But I Came To Dance

The Cab-Danger Radio-The Maine-Metro Station-Forever The Sickest Kids

I don't really know where to start with this one.
There's so much I want to get out, so much that happened.
But my brain moves way faster than my fingers can.

I guess I'll start with the fact that we did go to New Orleans.
It was very last minute and stemmed from a very ridiculous night.
Within an hour of talking about it, things were booked and we were packing.
That's apparently how we roll. :)

The drive to NOLA wasn't too bad.
It was an 8 hour drive and we only made two stops.
Unfortunately one of them being in Alabama.
We all know my feelings about Alabama.

There were about 500 bridges we had to cross to get there.
But Ashley did good(she hates bridges).
We got there around 9pm and checked into our hotel.
After of course getting lost first. We can't not get lost lol.

The hotel was very very nice. At least for us lol.
And it was in the middle of everything.
After getting settled we decided to explore a bit.
It was soo hot and humid and it was like 10pm...ridiculous.

We went to the infamous Bourbon Street, which was interesting.
And we went ahead and found the venue, which luckily wasn't too far from the hotel.
While we were walking around we saw the dudes from Play Radio Play hanging out.
Some drunk guy tried to hit on me with this lame ass pick up line.
Great night.

The next day was the day of the show.
We got up early and headed to the venue.
We were the first ones there and the wait began.
Soon after our new friends Jamie and Amber showed up and I'm so glad we got to meet them. They're amazing and so funny.

After a bit of confusion about where the show was supposed to be, they finally decided that it would be in the House of Blues part instead of the Parish which was smaller.
Now before we even left for NOLA we knew that it was supposed to rain the day of the show.
But we were thinking that it wouldn't, or that it would be very light rain.

Oh were we wrong.

Around noon it started to sprinkle. Then that changed into a full blown shower.
We manged to get under a ledge, but that didn't help much.
While we were trying not to get wet, we finally saw a van pull up.
And out of the van comes running Kennedy from The Maine and another guy to move a barricade that was blocking where they were supposed to park.
Seeing Kennedy run in the rain was the funniest thing ever!!!

After about 15 minutes of showers the rain stopped and it got really hot.
More people had shown up by then.
The next band to arrive was The Cab and they were attacked of course lol.
The next thing to happen was both funny as hell and ridiculous at the same time.

I pretty much almost had an asthma attack.
First I hear someone say that he wasn't there yet.
Then I turn around and there he is. Two feet from me.
He came from out of fucking nowhere!

After I finally calmed down we were talking to some girls and found out something very interesting.
Apparently at this venue they have something called "Pass The Line".
If you eat at the HOB restaurant and keep your receipt you get to pass the line for the show.
Fucking ridiculous.
So we basically had to go eat at the restaurant so we wouldn't lose our spot in the front.

And of course he's in the restaurant when we go to eat.
So we all order a salad since it was cheap and we weren't really hungry.
And it took forever. And I'm not exaggerating either.
When we finally get our checks and get ready to leave, it's storming outside.

*Side note. Before we left the restaurant I went up stairs to use the bathroom and apparently he might have followed us up there. Then as we were walking back down he was walking up the stairs. Another mini asthma attack*

Anyway, so we're leaving and it's pouring.
We go to get back in the line and it's ridiculous.
There are so many people and they're all soaked.
Luckily everyone in the front of the line had our backs and knew that we were first.

After that all hell broke loose.
Apparently there were people trying to cut the line.
So everyone runs for the doors and it's just chaos.
Mind you, it's now a full blown monsoon outside.

Someone from the venue had to come out and make everyone get in the right lines.
It was ridiculous.
And it was still an hour before doors and they weren't letting in early.
So it was another hour out in the rain for everyone.

Finally it was time for doors.
I was first in, and headed straight for center right lol.
All our new friends made it on the barricade too.
Then the dance party began.

The Cab was up first and they were amazing!! Ian is fucking amazing at guitar.
Cash is hilarious to watch. I love that kid.
Singer had curly hair which looks better on him lol. And he had awesome shoes.
Overall great set. The kids love them.

Next was Danger Radio. I don't even know what to say about them.
I guess besides the fact that I love them! Fucking dance party!!
They're sooo talented.
And I did good lol.

The Maine was up next. They played an acoustic set.
Pat and Garret weren't there because they were graduating from High School that night.
It was amazing. Ashley almost lost it lol. And she recorded the whole set.

OMGZ Metro Station was next lol.
They were good. The 14 years olds lost their minds.
Mason had on shades. Don't ask me why.

Four words....FOREVER THE SICKEST KIDS!!!!!
Fucking amazing.
It was so much fun watching them.
Jonathon is the best dancer. Fo reals.

Basically that whole night was the ULTIMATE DANCE PARTY!
And it was so worth it. Everything.
The long car ride. The rain. The drama with the line. Asthma attacks. Everything.

And if I had to do it all again, I would in a heartbeat.
It was one of the best shows I've ever been too.
I made some amazing new friends.
And New Orleans is a fantastic city. I can't wait to go back.

Temper Temper

You know what?
A simple "Thank You" sometimes would be nice.
Honestly, is it that hard?
People must think I do this shit for fun or something.

But if I don't do it, guess what?

It won't get done.

Anyway, I may or may not be taking a trip to New Orleans with the girls.
It depends on if my check from work comes in time.
And it better, or I'm going to be hella pissed.
I've been stuck in this hell hole for too long.

If said check does come and I do get to go, it's going to be fantastic!!
5 phenomenal bands that I love.
It's been a while since I've been to a show where I like/love every band.
Plus it's in fucking New Orleans!

I've never been and I've wanted to go forever.
Maybe I'll get to practice some of that French I never really learned lol.
It's such a beautiful and vibrant city that we're bound to have a good time.
In addition, there is something that, for my sake needs to go down there.

Well honestly it doesn't need to go down, but I would really really like it to.
I don't know, it's weird.
And if it does happen, I'll probably be the happiest I've ever been.
Yet in the back of my mind I know that it probably won't.

But! I've been trying to squash those thoughts and think positive.
And no one will be able to say I didn't try at least lol.
I do however, have morals.
And I plan to stick to them...maybe...lol.

I've got two scenarios in my head of what could happen.
Basically it does go down or it doesn't.
Being as I am usually 2 steps ahead of myself(rather unconsciously sometimes).
I'm preparing mentally for both.

Hmm...I think I might be thinking wayyy too much into this.
Whatever happens I'm not going to let it dictate the amount of fun I'll have.
But I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
I am the queen of wishful thinking.

High Hopes In Velvet Ropes

One of these days I'll own that car.
The only car I've ever really wanted was a Mini Cooper.
For obvious reasons lol.
But really, they're absolutely fabulous.

It's just really frustrating that I can't have it.
Or any car for that matter.
Or the fact that I don't have my license yet.
I'm realizing that it's getting quite sad that I'm 20 and don't drive.

I've been blaming it on the fact that I have this "handicap".
Which I guess isn't really a handicap being as I've never really used this eye anyway.
It is weird to say that I'm legally blind in one eye though.
I'll never have sight in that eye again.

But anyway, there are plenty of people in this world that drive and have worse sight than me.
For the longest time I was mad at my mom for never even encouraging me to overcome this.
You'd think one would encourage their child to still go after those things.
But eh. That's not my mom. I'll definitely have to do this on my own.

I guess I should have known when my older sister had to learn to drive from my mom's boyfriend.
And I doubt my younger sister will have much luck in that department either.
But whatever I'm over it.
Ha obviously not really. I usually try to stay away from the "woe is me". But eh.

I guess this all comes from me being at home with nothing to do.
I'm in my room watching The Princess Diaries on mute and listening to The Cab.
This is a great start to my summer vacation.
And my phone is off so I can't even call anyone to talk.

As with much in my life right now, this is fucking ridiculous.
That phrase seems to be a common one in many of my blogs to date.
I'm trying to figure out what would make my life less "fucking ridiculous"
I don't really know actually.

Maybe the Mini.
Maybe an actual vacation.
Maybe not having to worry about money for once.
Maybe someone.

I don't know.
And frankly I'm just about ready to give up.
One of these days I'll write something optimistic.
Until then...

fucking ridiculous

Walk On Water Or Drown

Classes are done until August!
Work is done until June!
This is nice.
Very nice lol.

My time until work starts again is going to be spent being lazy.
I've got a lot of reading to get in.
And of course there's a bunch of shows.
As usual.

ROBERT FUCKING PLANT is coming July 10 to Chastian Park.
I still don't believe that I'm going to see him in person.
And *maybe possibly hopefully* get to meet him.
OMFG!!!!!!

I really want to open a bakery here in Athens.
Preferably downtown.
I don't even bake lol.
I'm pretty good at cooking, but I've never tackled baking.

I can picture it all in my head, what it would look like and such.
I just think it would be so cute and fun.
But I know it will be a lot of hard work too.
I think I could do it.

Misty Mountain Hop

My head hurts like hell today. Stupid migraines.
But I've got only one more final and two days of work then it's summer time!
Well only for a few weeks, then it's back to work(blahhh).

I spent over 200 dollars on four of my school books and I only got back $45.
Fucking ridiculous!
Books shouldn't cost so much in the first place.

I am sooo ready to go home for a while.
I need a fucking break from Athens.
And I can't wait to go back to Florida. Hopefully with Lauren again.

I've decided that I'm probably just going to take out a loan and go to England using that.
I know it'll put me further into debt, but whatever.
I'm not going to be able to do this again anytime soon.
Especially after I graduate.

I'm just going to go for it and do it.
No thinking twice.
Well I have to get the money first, but once I do, I'm going.
I might do it for my 21st birthday.

That'll give me enough time to plan it all out.
I need to get a passport.
It would be nice to go with my Nana since she's already been there before.
But we'll see.

London, get ready! Here I come :)

Famous Last Words

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone

We've Got A Big Mess On Our Hands

This is fucking ridiculous.

I got charged TWICE by the atm at The Masquerade(never again)
Which in turn sent my account into the negative
And after calling and explaining to the bank what happened, they told me that I have to fill out some paper work and send it back to them (with fucking receipts from the atm WTF??)
BUT while I'm waiting for them to send it to my house(in TUCKER)
Then for my mom to send it here to me (in ATHENS)
And for me to send it back to them (I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHERE)
I'm going to keep getting charged for insufficient funds
OH! but I need not worry because "the bank will refund me for everything"
Bullshit
So I'm basically not going to have any money until all this crap is taken care of
I can't(don't want to) ask my parents for it because although it's not my fault they shouldn't have to pay for it either
My Chemical Romance is next week and I'll be damned if this interferes with my plans

UGH I'm so fucking mad right now!!!

Listening to Mayday Parade is kinda calming me down, but Derek & Co can only do so much right now. I wouldn't be so mad right now had this had not just happen a few weeks ago.

Today was my last day of French. I should be fucking celebrating, but nooo. I'm dealing with this.

FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!

I wish I were with these kids instead of here dealing with this shit

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life.

"Why, Sir, you find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford."
-Samuel Johnson

Ugh I need to be there right now. There is really nothing here for me. Absolutely nothing. I'm growing increasingly tired of the things/places/people/whatnots that use to bring me joy and or some sense of happiness. I just need a change of scenery/new scene in general for a while. I'll come back I promise. Life is so routine. Class, work, show, class, work, show, class, work, show, class, work, show, class, work, show, class, work, show... The only good part about that is obviously the "shows". It's kinda like a traveling circus. These people come and they're different and exciting and intriguing. And as fast as they come, they leave just as fast. So that's only about 2-3 hours out of the grind then it's back to the same ol same ol.

"We gotta get out while we're young, 'cause tramps like us, baby we were born to run"
-Bruce Springsteen

Whatever it is I do, I gotta do it now or sometime soon. I've got 2 more years of this "freedom" then it's off to the hustle and grind. Hopefully the 9 to 5 won't be too bad, but still. I need to meet him and we need to go away for a while. Just for a while. To that place that's just ours. I've been patiently waiting for that ringmaster to invite me to join the circus. But I'm getting restless.

"My actions are dictated by the phase of the moon"
-The Raconteurs

Boo on The Raconteurs for not coming to Georgia. Honestly, they're one of those bands on my list of bands that I need to see. Here's a few more:
Led Zeppelin
Robert Plant
The White Stripes
Taking Back Sunday
The Strokes
The Horrors
Dirty Pretty Things
Arctic Monkeys
Babyshambles(or just Pete)
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Incubus
Manic Street Preachers
Klaxons
Mark Ronson

In other news, I got a bunny. Not the one I wanted, but he's just as cute. He's called Chewbacca. Chewy for short. He peed on me. I guess he likes me. Or he was just scared. I'll make myself feel better and go for the liking.

Take This To Heart- Mayday Parade

Cause I'm a mess and you know that I can't help it
The drive home never seemed this long before
Killing time just a little bit faster
And I swear we'll make it

But I can't tell you what I don't know
(Be mine tonight, be mine tonight)
The simple things, they make my heart go
(Be mine tonight, be mine tonight)
But I can't tell you what I don't know
You'll have to wait
You'll have to wait

Stay strong
And only know that it'll be here while I am gone
Because I'm coming home
Coming home tonight
Let's get this right
I said I'm coming home
Coming home tonight

You sounded hurt and you know that I believe you
Searching every little thing to find a way
To tell your heart just to wait a little longer
I swear we'll make it

But I can't tell you what I don't know
(Be mine tonight, be mine tonight)
The simple things, they make my heart go
(Be mine tonight, be mine tonight)
But I can't tell you what I don't know
You'll have to wait
You'll have to wait

Stay strong
And only know that it'll be here while I am gone
Because I'm coming home
Coming home tonight
Let's get this right
I said I'm coming home
Coming home tonight

One more night
And we'll go spinning around the room
It starts with our hearts on fire
Cause every song is ours tonight
And if you help me sing
Change the whole world
That it's greatest thing that happened to me
I finally found a good reason to come home

Stay strong
And only know that it'll be here while I am gone
Because I'm coming home
Coming home tonight
Let's get this right
I said I'm coming home
Coming home tonight

Make it Rain

It's less than 5 minutes left in my 20th birthday and by the time this is actually posted it'll be technically over.

This was a pretty rad b-day. It's still weird to think I'm two Decades old and no longer a teenager. I kinda don't feel like it. I went to North Carolina to visit the grandparents for the weekend. It's always nice going up there. When I'm old I want a home like theirs. Everything just seems so perfect. And I never have a care in the world when I'm up there. Maybe it's something in the mountain air. But everything just feels right when I'm there. I didn't realize how much I missed Nana and Grandpa. I should call them more often.

My family/friends know me so well. For my b-day my Nana got me 3 scarf & gloves sets in burgundy, green, and grey, a pair of black and grey socks from LONDON!, a huge laptop carrying bag which can also double as a purse, and a bunch of lotions/body wash items. Candace got me the Mark Ronson cd...I loveee him. And Ashley got me the new Robert Plant(!!!) & Allison Krauss cd & the new Substream with Mayday Parade on the cover(ATL is on the other side).

Now, on to more important things...The Audition! The cd comes out tomorrow(technically today) and although I burned a copy from Ashley only so I could listen to it on the way to NC and back, I cannot wait to get the actual cd!!! It seems like it's taken forever, but finally it's here. We're getting it after Union. Then we're going to The Grit for more b-day celebrating.

The show on Thursday was fucking incredible!!! I hyped it up so much in my mind that I was kinda worried that I might end up being disappointed. But then I realized that this was The Audition I was talking about and there was no way I could be. They sounded so good and put on an amazing show. Any doubt I could have ever had about this band(I had none) would have been shattered by their set. And as Veronica and I declared the whole night, it was SEX! lol. The only thing I wish was changed was the length of the set. I wish it could've been longer. But then again I could watch them play all night.

As usual we stayed around afterward and talked to the bands(contrary to how it may seem from this post, there were other bands that played...Another Day Late, Danger Radio, and Envy on the Coast...they we're all fucking amazing! Especially EOTC and Danger Radio!) I always feel the need to express my extreme gratitude to the bands and just let them know that I enjoyed the show. I'm sure they hear it every night, so I always try to have actual conversations with them. They usually seem to enjoy them. Or they're really good at putting up a front lol.

Anyway, so I was mainly focused on talking to The Audition boys...well mostly Seth because I heard he was super nice and I had met the other guys the last time we saw them, but not him. We talked for about 5 minutes, and like they said, he was really nice. I really enjoyed our conversation. Joe and Tim were funny as hell. But especially Joe because he was drunk. Ryan was really nice too and you can tell that he really cares about the fans and their opinions. And I love that about him. Surprisingly I didn't really talk to Danny. While the rest of the girls were talking to him I was talking to Seth. I did get him to sign my set list and I got a picture...which was wonderful of course lol.

I wish these guys and all bands that I ever talk to knew how grateful I am that they would take the time out to talk to me or sign something or take a picture. When it comes to most bands I'm pretty comfortable talking to them, but there are a few that I still get extremely nervous around. I would put The Audition in the "pretty comfortable" category. They're such wonderful dudes.

Ugh...I need to go to bed. I have a French test tomorrow that I need to finish studying for. My class isn't until 2pm but I've got to go to the bank and deal with this tuition crap in the morning. After that, my British Lit class, and our Union meeting, it's CHAMPION time!!!!!

I can’t believe this is happening to me,
Hey, make it rain,
Flood the streets, if only for today.
Hey, make it rain,
I need you, I want you all,
I just can’t help it, baby this is all we got tonight,
Hey, make it rain, yeah...

Edinboro- The Audition

Smother your breath with cheap champagne,
The stewardess will bring me two of the same,
These sort of things project through my microphone,
Projecting love into your stereo.
I won't go unheard or unknown...

Carry me like jet planes crossing the sea
You fly so high that my eyes
Can hardly see you lock on to me
And cabin pressure's high from body heat.

This chemistry will keep us glued to our seats
It's got this boy shaking in both of his knees
A loss of breath from extreme altitude,
Of the signals that your sending help me follow you.
I won’t go unheard or unknown, oh-ooh-wow-ohh-ohh.

Carry me like jet planes crossing the sea
You fly so high that my eyes
Can hardly see you lock on to me
And cabin pressure's high from body heat.

Carry me like jet planes crossing the sea
You fly so high that my eyes
Can hardly see you lock on to me

Mayday mayday, we’re going down in flames,
Maybe, baby this is destiny.
Repeat, repeat, just what you want from me,
I can make tonight, the best of your life.
Oh, Without a fight.

Carry me like jet planes crossing the sea
You fly so high that my eyes
Can hardly see you lock on to me
And cabin pressure's high from body heat.

Carry me like jet planes crossing the sea
You fly so high that my eyes
Can hardly see you lock on to me

Mayday mayday, we’re going down in flames,
Maybe, baby this is destiny.

So yeah, I pretty much want to marry this band. Yep all of them. I mean who out today in the "scene" is making music like them? Nobody. There are a few that are coming close; My American Heart, Every Avenue and Dance Gavin Dance(to an extent). But God, The Audition are setting the bar pretty fucking high with Champion.

I was able to hold out and NOT download the cd, but now that the songs are on their myspace I have had a listen(or like 10) and it's fucking AMAZING!! I know I say a lot of things are amazing, but in all honestly this is probably the best cd I've heard since SANTI. And these are two completely different sounding groups. I would even put this cd in more of a R n B category than anything. Danny has a very R n B-ish voice. Extremely soulful at times. Definitely sexy. But most importantly, you can hear the passion in his voice, which is a distinct characteristic of R n B singers.

Um a Robin Thicke & The Audition tour anyone????


I'm just sayin. Someone needs to make it happen. Imagine all the new fans both The Audition and Robin would gather from this. And it would make this fan an extremely happy individual.


Ugh...January 22 can't come fast enough. I think I might be more excited about this than my own birthday(which is the day before).


Love

From Bullets To Black, We Survived Them All

I love my friends.

Honestly.

There is nothing better than a car full of girls singing their little hearts out to My Chemical Romance.

And it's crazy to think that it was essentially My Chem that brought us all together.

I wish everyday could be like yesterday.

Ray p33n + Vortex + Lesbo/drunk waitress + "I didn't make it across the street!" + Cold Stone + Fanny Packs + Segways + "Just get to third base!!" + My Chem sing-a-longs + tons of shit I'm sure I've left out = The BEST trip to Lil 5 ever!

I've got to go to English now. Blahhhh

"In an infinite universe; eternal time, why just do what people tell you? 'ave a laugh; do what you want."

BASBHAT

Bitches Ain't Shit But Hoes And Tricks(Champion)

Ain't that the truth. I can't wait for The Audition's new record Champion. I don't think I've been this excited for a new record since The Academy Is' SANTI or Black Lips Good Bad Not Evil. And it comes out the day after my birthday which is an added bonus. A nice little gift to myself. And the show on the 17th is going to be totally amazing I know.

4 days after that show I'll be turning 20 years old. It seems quite uncanny to think about honestly. But I'm going to look at this day not as "oh I'm getting so old" but as the start of a new chapter in my life. I shall say goodbye to the days of old and give a grandiose WELCOME to the new adventure in which I'm going to embark on. They weren't called the Roaring Twenties for nothing. (Yes I do realize that the term "Roaring Twenties" actually emphasizes the 1920s social, artistic, and cultural dynamism. But I'm using it in this sense anyway lol)

I'm also going to use this time to set out on a new spiritual path as well. A search for spiritual enlightenment if you will. I'm definitely not straying away from Christianity. I still truly believe in the fundamentals on which the Christian faith is based. Of those, most importantly being love. Never have I been a very "religious" person, yet I do feel that there is something missing and I'm hoping that void can be filled with this new spiritual enlightenment and I can be at peace with myself. But that's another blog.

Classes start tomorrow. A new semester, a new beginning. I'm not particularly excited about the situation at hand, but it is one step closer to finally being done and being able to move on into phase 2.0 in my life.

"We're all imprisoned within the confines of our own mind and we can only find liberty when we find spiritual freedom within ourselves and connect with other people through love."