Sometimes I feel sad that my dad has to live alone. His wife moved back to California with my 2 little sisters and she's been out there for a while so I'm pretty sure she's going to divorce him.
But then sometimes I don't feel sad because if he treated her the same way he treated my mom, then he had it coming.
He's never been a good father to myself or my little sister Ashley, but we're older so it doesn't affect us now as much I think. I just worry about Milan and Thalia. They're 5 and 2 years old. They are probably going to have to go through the same things Ashley and I went through with him. Basically him not being there for us. And I don't want them to have to go through that. They're too young now to realize it, but it's going to affect them in the long run.
My mom blames the fact that he didn't have a dad growing up as to why he's not a good father. He doesn't know how to be one.
But I think that's bullshit. There are plenty of men who didn't have dads and they're good fathers. You would think that he wouldn't want to make the same mistake with his kids. But I guess not.
This has defintiely affected me a lot more than I think I let people know, even my mom who I pretty much tell everything to.
I don't know what this means for me though. And I don't know how I'm going to handle it when I finally can't take it anymore. :/
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