It's 2010...say whaaa???

I can't believe it's 2010. Like really? Have I really been in college for 4 years already?? Am I really graduating this year...probably not, but eh whatever haha. Nobody's gonna rush me. I'm aiming for Dec. 2010, but we'll see about that.

I for one can say thank God 2009 is over. It was probably the worst year of my life. The only good things that happened was I turned 21 and I met Alex.

So yeah, Alex. Hmm...I kinda like him I guess lol. And by "like" I mean love. It's not been easy though. At all lol. I feel like I spend more time pissed off at him than anything lol. But there's just something about that boy that I can't explain. He told me he loved me first, which was nice. I just wish he would show it a little more. I understand that he doesn't have the money to buy me things and stuff like that, but I don't even need that kinda stuff. I just feel like I'm not a priority to him sometimes. And it doesn't help when he's friends with soooo many girls. And I've never been the jealous type in my life, but it's hard not to be when I know first hand how flirtatious he is.

I do hate that we really don't talk much though. Our phone conversations never last very long. I want the type of conversations that last for hours...talking until 4 or 5 in the morning. Not the type of convos that start at 4 or 5 in the morning and only last for 5 minutes. And that's all our conversations. I guess some people aren't like that, but I wish he was.

I think the thing that bugs me the most though is I feel like he's trying to hide our relationship sometimes though. He doesn't want to say that we're "in a relationship" on facebook, which isn't a big deal because I'm already in a relationship with my best friend Ashley on there, but still. And he doesn't like for me to leave him comments. Anytime I do he deletes them. He says it's because his friends give him a hard time and he doesn't like to have personal information on there. I honestly think it's bull shit though. I don't give a damn what his friends think and neither should he. I told him that, but of course he doesn't see it that way. I think he just doesn't want all the other girls he talks to to know that he has a girlfriend.

Oh and I didn't even know that we were BF/GF until he called me his GF one day...yeah.

And there's no telling what his family knows. Family is extremely important to me. My mom and step dad and sisters know all about him and he's met them. I've never met any of his family, and he hardly ever talks about them. I've spoken to his brother Richard before, when Alex got arrested. I talked to him through facebook messages to see what was happening and such. I never told him that I was his girlfriend though, and now I wish I had because I doubt Alex has told him. I've never talked to his sister and I don't really know much about her. But I would love to get to know his family and I don't understand why he doesn't want me too. :/ As Alex would say...le sigh.

We'll see what 2010 has to hold for me and Alex. Getting to know his family more is something that I'm probably going to have to make happen. Hopefully all the little issues I have will work themselves out. I want nothing more for this to work between us. I love him.

Well I start back work tomorrow...blahhh. I am not looking forward to getting up at 6am again. But it must be done. I've got big plans for 2010. I'll save those for another post.

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