High Hopes In Velvet Ropes

One of these days I'll own that car.
The only car I've ever really wanted was a Mini Cooper.
For obvious reasons lol.
But really, they're absolutely fabulous.

It's just really frustrating that I can't have it.
Or any car for that matter.
Or the fact that I don't have my license yet.
I'm realizing that it's getting quite sad that I'm 20 and don't drive.

I've been blaming it on the fact that I have this "handicap".
Which I guess isn't really a handicap being as I've never really used this eye anyway.
It is weird to say that I'm legally blind in one eye though.
I'll never have sight in that eye again.

But anyway, there are plenty of people in this world that drive and have worse sight than me.
For the longest time I was mad at my mom for never even encouraging me to overcome this.
You'd think one would encourage their child to still go after those things.
But eh. That's not my mom. I'll definitely have to do this on my own.

I guess I should have known when my older sister had to learn to drive from my mom's boyfriend.
And I doubt my younger sister will have much luck in that department either.
But whatever I'm over it.
Ha obviously not really. I usually try to stay away from the "woe is me". But eh.

I guess this all comes from me being at home with nothing to do.
I'm in my room watching The Princess Diaries on mute and listening to The Cab.
This is a great start to my summer vacation.
And my phone is off so I can't even call anyone to talk.

As with much in my life right now, this is fucking ridiculous.
That phrase seems to be a common one in many of my blogs to date.
I'm trying to figure out what would make my life less "fucking ridiculous"
I don't really know actually.

Maybe the Mini.
Maybe an actual vacation.
Maybe not having to worry about money for once.
Maybe someone.

I don't know.
And frankly I'm just about ready to give up.
One of these days I'll write something optimistic.
Until then...

fucking ridiculous